Turn away if you should hear me begin to sing! I look like a fucking monster with this wing!
AThe behavioral context we find ourselves in (the world of past & contemporary social relations) is despicable. This is our subjective opinion. It is not a matter of want, but of necessity.
BThe behavioral context we find ourselves in is a set of repeated, mimicked, reproduced "bad" habits. We desire new habits all around. We criticize the old.
CThis is because at some level we do not believe it is written, we do not believe it is "human nature", we do not believe it is necessary. Our belief, paradoxically co-existing with determinism and nihilism, is in stochasticity, synchronicity and volition. We believe the constraints of a higher power can be undone. This is the closest approximation on our part to something resembling a sense of faith.
DThe world does not change in response to our critique. We become passionate and scary. We become passionate and mild. We become passionate and empathic. We become passionate and vigilant. We become passionate and humorous. We become passionate and healthy. We become passionate and healers. Et cetera. The 'passionate and scary' motif is a clichéd reaction-formation of the 20th century avant-gardes and is not necessarily something to be inherited.
EWe begin self critique to examine our own part in reproducing the world. We experiment with new behaviour.
FBecause our experiment is not a habit, it feels contrived and fake. That is because it is. It is unfamiliar territory.
GThe world does not change because of our experimentation.
HWe remember that the world has forced our hand, we resist.
IWe are defiant so we stand our ground. It is a face off, a standstill, a stoppage.
JThe world does not change. Feedback to position "A".
KWe understand that our stumbling point resides somewhere around positions "C" and "F". This is the point of uncertainty, foreign ground, absurdity, novelty, the different, the opportunity, the transcendent possibility, the patamimesis, the jumping off. This is subjective rupture.
LWe discover that difference is both an inviting and scary place. There are dangers in any adventure, even as it seems so enticing. The choice, the only choice is whether or not to try on our new shoes, to see if they become more comfortable after a breaking in period, if they become us, or if they need discarded. We do not tolerate bare feet walking on thin ice and razor-blades. We try on a different pair of shoes.
DYSPHASIA PRESS 2009 - 2011